Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
