david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
