**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
