i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize