Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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