sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
