We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
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