never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
