We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
