return my video game
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
