So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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