i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize