I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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