He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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