He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
