never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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