Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
