i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
