So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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