Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
