apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
