You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
