There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
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