Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
