just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
