I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
