Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
