If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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