And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
