worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
