the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
do nipples grow back?
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