I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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