Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I want to fling myself into the sun
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
