i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
