Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
So apparently I’m into choking now
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
