dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
