So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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