my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
