once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Holy shit dude........stairs
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
