remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
