guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
