yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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