so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
