They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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