I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
