grandma shit on top of the toilet
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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