RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
