Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
