WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
false alarm, still single
Randomize
