Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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