man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
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