oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
You were trust falling into bushes
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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