this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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