I'm drive I can fine osifer
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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