Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
