They should really pass out barf bags in church
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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