You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
My life is pants optional.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
