I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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