All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
