I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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