sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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