I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
