I wanna bring you to show and tell
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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